5'7"
IS NOT
SHORT
IT'S PERFECTLY MID
a defense of the median ↓
01 / THE ARGUMENT5'7" / 170CM

Mid is not an insult.
Mid is the POINT.

WHAT THEY THINK MID MEANS

"You are forgettable."

A vague online insult. A way to dismiss something without engaging with it. The default cope of someone with no actual critique.

WHAT MID ACTUALLY IS

The mathematical median.

The number that splits the distribution in half. The one specific value that is, by definition, the most normal a person can be. The center cannot be a flaw.

02 / 10
02 / EXHIBIT A — THE PLANETNCD-RISC 2020

5'7" isn't short.
It's literally the global median.

5'7.5"
// global mean height for adult men
// our world in data, 1996 cohort
// 200 countries, 65M participants
↓ MID
Netherlands
72.4"
Germany
71.0"
UK
70.2"
USA
69.7"
China
69.2"
GLOBAL
67.5"
Mexico
67.0"
India
65.6"
Philippines
65.0"
// src: NCD risk factor collaboration via Our World in Data
03 / 10
03 / EXHIBIT B — THE LINEUPALL CERTIFIED MID

Men 5'7" and under
that you would never call mid.

Lionel Messi
5'7"
Greatest of all time.
Kendrick Lamar
5'6"
Pulitzer Prize winner.
Bruno Mars
5'5"
15 Grammys.
Tom Holland
5'8"
Spider-Man. Dating Zendaya.
Al Pacino
5'7"
The Godfather.
Prince
5'2"
Prince.
Daniel Radcliffe
5'5"
Defeated Lord Voldemort.
Napoleon
5'6–7"
Conquered Europe. Was average.
// every "MID" stamp here is a man more accomplished than your last 5 dates combined
04 / 10
04 / HEIGHTFLATION™THE MID IS DEBASED

Every guy online is 6'0".

// this is mathematically impossible. someone is lying.
14.5%
// of US men who are actually 6'0"+
// (CDC NHANES)
33%
// of US men who self-report 6'0"+
// (US survey data)
→ THE GAP ←
14.5% 18.5% 67%
actually 6'0"+
lying about it (18.5%!)
under 6' & honest
// src: CDC NHANES + multiple US survey citations
05 / 10
05 / EXHIBIT C — LIVE DEMOAR.QUICKLOOK

Don't take my word for it.
See it yourself.

imnotshort.zackbart.com/demo
01
Scan with iPhone camera
// android works too, but iOS does the AR drop
02
Tap the figure
// point camera at the floor next to me
03
Stand beside it
// 165 cm = global mean male height. that's the bar.
// not a metaphor. the figure is to scale.
06 / 10
06 / PLOT TWISTMID OUTLIVES YOU

Actually, mid is engineered.

// the short kings have been running biology this whole time
+2yrs
longer life at 70
Italian military study, men under 5'4" vs. taller comrades
↓ CA
lower cancer mortality
PLOS ONE — 8,003 men, 40-year follow-up
FOXO3
longevity gene, more common in shorter men
Kuakini Honolulu-Asia Aging Study (He et al., 2014)
100%
fit in airplane seats
field-tested by every man in this room
// src: PLOS ONE (He et al. 2014); Italian military longevity study; CNBC longevity coverage
07 / 10
07 / OBJECTIONS, ANSWEREDBE NORMAL

Things you're about to say that are already debunked.

01
"But women prefer taller men."
On average, as a stated preference, yes. In actual relationships, the gap is way smaller and routinely violated. The filter is not the outcome.
02
"Taller men earn more."
Correlation, real but heavily confounded by childhood nutrition, class, and confidence. Height isn't doing the work — Excel is.
03
"Short kings have Napoleon Complex."
True.
04
"It's just biology."
Average male height has risen ~9 cm in 100 years globally. Korean women gained 20 cm in a century. This is nutrition, not destiny.
08 / 10
VERDICT · UNANIMOUS · BED-STUY DISTRICT COURT
PERFECTLY
MID.
// the height of the global median.
// the height of Messi, Kendrick, Pacino, Napoleon.
// statistically, the height that outlives you.
I rest my case.
08 / Q&AEND OF DECK

Questions?

(there shouldn't be any)

SOURCES, IF YOU'RE BRAVE

  • Our World in Data — Human Height (NCD-RisC, 200 countries, 65M people)
  • CDC NHANES 2015–16 — US adult body measurements
  • He et al., PLOS ONE 2014 — Shorter Men Live Longer / FOXO3
  • Wikipedia — "Napoleon complex" (origin of the propaganda)
  • Me, Bed-Stuy NY — lived experience, ongoing fieldwork
10 / 10